Goooooooood Morning and Happy Easter Monday (for our fellow Canadians).
Today is a BIG day in our house (for 2 reasons):
First, let's talk about The Shadow House.
(The rental we moved out of 9 days ago).
Bright-eyed, BUSHY Babuh'd (and absolutely friggin' NAIVE about what was in store)...
2 years ago, we drove 17 hours across Alberta & BC, our Kia Sportage keeping pace with a U-Hail trailer bouncing on the back.
It was September 9th, 2020. The sun was hot & our s#%t eating grins were glimmering.
2 prairie girls and their beloved mastiff & charming rag doll, headed straight for coastal magic.
Well... You know what I always say...
"We don't always get what we want, we get what we NEED so we can have what we want."
This may sound cynical, but it's actually an energetic Law of Receiving.
Put in other...
You can’t spell PARTNER without the letters in PARENT.
In this moment of my consciousness, I sincerely believe we as adults in partnership, have the very special opportunity to REPARENT each other.
But I think so many people are so friggin’ riddled with their own unmet needs,
they say or think shit about their partners like,
“I’m not their mother, they can figure out/do xyz on their own”.
I believe this is a projection from their ego (aka: their own unmet needs) onto their partner.
Unconsciously guided by the principle of, “My needs didn’t matter, so I sure as HELL AIN’T bending over backward for theirs”
or, “I had to figure it out on my own, so should they”
I am BLESSED AF that V doesn’t have that Ego. ^
She can sense when a child part of mine is present, and she softens and speaks to THAT part of me.
Not the rational 30 year old part of me, but the irrational 5 year...
A few months back, I went through an emotionally painful experience that provoked a'lotta rage & the desire for REVENGE.
Revenge energy is something I was familiar with as a hasty teen - but not now!!
Not as a “conscious LEADER”.
I was 100% caught in the riptide of RIGHTEOUSNESS.
My brain was orchestrating some serious ideas and taking me on a RIDE of all sorts of ways I could “make this person pay”.
It was not fun. It felt compulsive. I was not my best self.
V said to me, calmly, and without judgement:
“If you went through with doing this, as a way to get revenge, think about _________ and what she would think if she found out you did this?” (she name dropped one of our students).
In that moment, almost as if she waved a magic wand, the desire for revenge immediately dissipated.
The rampant thoughts of (admittedly ingenious) revenge ideas completely vanished.
The spin stopped, and all desire for 'making this...
In 2021, I benevolently set the intention of, “It gets to be easy” as my guiding anchor for the year.
And then? I got my ASS KICKED with some of the hardest shit I've ever been through.
I’ll dive DEEP into my personal experience, but first...
Remember this as you strut boldly into a new year with new intentions, new guiding words, essences or phrases…
We don’t (always) get what we want.
We get what we need so we can have what we want.
And by setting a new intention, you’re calling in new problems to solve.
Now, that may sound oddly cynical coming from a leader of an Empowerment company, but it IS empowering and exciting, I swear!! (Even if it woops your ass).
As humans, we’re literally designed and created to solve problems.
(And we get rewarded with dopamine when we do!)
A lot of people experience depression because they’re just friggin’ BORED.
They’re not actively solving problems that...
So, last week, some devastating shit went down on our property.
But the emergency arborist (who simultaneously rescued while almost killing our cat), reminded me of a confidence-boosting, bank account growing, LIFE CHANGING lesson…
I’ll spare you the long story and get right into the meat n’ deets because I think you’re gonna love this.
(Especially if you’re TERRIFIED of failing or of people finding out about your deepest shames/wounds).
So, ironically, the same weekend he had to come to rescue our cat (who was stranded & bunking with an owl for 16 hours - true story), we were scheduled to go to our arborist and his wives house for dinner (#smalltownvibes)
Literally, the moment we rolled into his house, still unbuttoning our jackets, he says, “Well, I learned a LOT from my first cat rescue”...
He was stoked.
He went on to explain, in-depth, all the different strategies he would implement next time he has to rescue a cat from a massive...
Do you ever sell yourself out because of fear of losing love?
It's ok. You can say it.
I mean, I know I sure have.
Don't even get me STARTED on all the ways I have sold myself out, overextended and let MYSELF down, out of fear of letting others down.
I mean, if there was Red Seal of People Pleasers, I would have the certification stamped n' signed.
And honestly? It took me by surprise to even consider I was a people pleaser.
"Me? No. Nuh-uh. HELL no. I am WAY too edgy & outspoken for that shit. I have a neck tattoo, for goodness sakes. People pleasers do NOT have neck tattoos...".
"The lie detector determined... THAT was a lie" - Maury, my man, truer words have never been spoken.
Anyways, as a professional (now retired) people pleaser who was terrified of letting people down, I have learned a thing or two I wanna share with you.
As always, I gotta story to share.
THIS is the SITuation on people pleasing, and a weird reason why you...
Kelsey dives into how this specific moment in her life (that happened 10 years ago) has affected her current relationships with people--making her keep them at arm’s length and even doubting whether they want HER or just want SOMETHING from her.
And, ironically, a certain someone phoned Kelsey right when she was about to dive into the meat of this episode...This special unexpected guest is actually someone who was affected by the trauma Kelsey’s been carrying. Talk about impeccable timing!?
Do you think that was a coincidence or was the universe trying to communicate something?
Either way, this episode is surely something worth listening to. From betrayals and overgiving to trust and genuine generosity in relationships; get to know...
So. The s#&% storm. What is it?
It can feel like full body vibrations, shaking, big emotions, and uncomfortable sensations. It's over analyzing, feeling small, and unworthy.
Do you give yourself s#&% when you’re in the s#&% storm? Are your expectations about healing, your “coulda, shoulda, wouldas” in your way?
How are you part of your own problem? (Yup. Accountability can suck, but sitting it can help you discover how you are participating in your suffering or trauma continuing?)
Pain tempts us to numb out, ignore, or shut down, BUT you gotta feel it to heal it.
It takes serious effort, diligence,...
Enjoy the crackle of the fire alongside Kelsey Eigler and Vincent VanOhm as they dive into how 2021 is going so far.
They discuss social media detoxing, and how removing FB and IG from their phones has created more presence, creativity, joy and happiness.
They speak candidly (and admittedly ambiguously) about having Cancer in the business.
They reflect on how problems are resistance bands for the soul, and some of the personal demons they’ve had to overcome…
You’ll feel like you’re sitting around the fire with 2 pals, and likely be provoked to have some beautiful reflections of your own.
Questions to consider:
V cracks Mama Kae Eigler (AKA: Mama K or Mama Bear) wide open in this heart wrenching and inspiring conversation about a single mothers perspective raising a rebellious (at times, out of control) teen.
Mama K shares all the deets from watching her child’s first moment learning gratitude and appreciation, to watching Kelsey be arrested for the first time, resulting in expulsion from every Edmonton Public School, to Kelsey's drug-induced hospitalization, allllll the way to becoming an inspirational leader.
Mama K speaks of how she, herself, was a renegade parent, raising her kids against popular norms by allowing them to have their own journey without judgement and control.
By seeking alternative channels and spiritual based practices, she found safety in knowing that even the expulsion from school, the drug dealing, and the drug overdose wouldn’t stop her...